Today has been a hard day for our family. Mostly for me, because Jasmine was my baby. I may not have mentioned her here on the blog before, but Jasmine has been a part of our lives for about 2 years now. She was a beautiful domestic tabby and had the most amazing personality. If you’re wondering why I’m talking about her in past tense, it is because today I had to make one of the hardest decisions: We put Jasmine down.
When we got Jasmine she was this little tiny gray and white ball of fluff. I’m pretty sure that she was taken from her mom too early and she attached onto me so fast. Every night I had this little ball curled under my chin because she liked the beat of my pulse and it was reassuring to her. Every night I had the little sound of her purring right next to my head. Finally, Jasmine got too big to be sleeping like that, but every now and then she did crawl into my bed and cuddle up against my tummy in a ball.
I’ve never had a cat as nice as her. She would allow my kids to just pick her up and carry her around like it was nothing. She never wanted to play and was content to just lay down next to you, or walk around outside for some fresh air. If you called her, she came. And all it took was a quick “pshhhh” to get her to stop doing whatever she was doing.
I may not have spoiled her the way that some people do their animals. She didn’t have a pretty collar with tags, or fancy toys and a climber, or even a bed. But she was loved, and deeply.
My biggest mistake: Not getting her spayed
We kept talking about it. “Oh we will eventually…in due time”. She would end up pregnant and we would give the kitten a new home. Then we’d swear to get her spayed again and she’d end up pregnant again. We didn’t realize you could get an animal spayed while pregnant.
About a week and a half ago, Jasmine went into labor. She was such a tiny cat and every time she got pregnant it was always with one kitten only. This time it went horribly wrong. The kitten got stuck and I had no idea what to do. I didn’t even realize that the kitten was stuck until it was too late. She stopped getting contractions and eventually started to fade. After she had been in labor for a little over 2 days, I finally convinced hubby that I HAD to take her to the vet.
Unfortunately, our financial situation isn’t the best, so vet bills were a little hard for us. I took her in and the vet said they could spay her and take out the kitten, just focusing on saving Jasmine’s life. It was our cheapest bet. So…I said yes. I just wanted to help my poor baby and she was in so much pain.
That night they called me and said that after they had cut her open, they found out that her entire uterus was filled with pus. It was beyond infected. They said we could either put her down, or they would clean her out, give me antibiotics, and hope for the best. She had a 50/50 chance of living.
So we gave her the chance. For the past week we’ve been giving her antibiotics twice a day, cuddling her one the couch, showing her how much she’s loved. Of course, it also involved me shooing the kids away from the poor injured kitty. She hated the cone and would give me these dirty looks every time I had to put it back on her after eating. She was doing so well, and actually started walking around, crawling into bed with me again, and looking out the back door with longing.
Until yesterday. Yesterday she started acting out of it again. She wouldn’t move from the couch, and I had to force her off the couch to get her to eat. When she ate, she would eat with gusto, but she just couldn’t move. I felt her and she was so warm I knew she was running a fever. Hoping for the best I gave her the rest of the night.
Today I called the vet and they told me to bring her in right away. So I brought her in, knowing that the worst was about to happen. I was already saying my silent goodbyes in the car, crying, knowing that something was so wrong with her. I dropped her off and they called me back.
She was running another fever of 105.x degrees, and they couldn’t identify what was wrong with her without tests. The bloodwork and diagnostics themselves would have cost me an arm and a leg (What I consider to be, and sure as heck was cheaper than anywhere else in the Inland Empire) and they could have found that she was septic and not been able to do anything. So my options were to scrape up any money I had, get her the diagnostics which could lead to me not even being able to afford the surgery…or I could take her home with some antibiotics and hope that they would help and if they didn’t then I would have to bring her back to be put down anyways.
I thought this over long and hard with hubby. Jasmine was in so much pain. I could tell by the way she hardly lifted her head to look at me when I called her. The way she barely squinted out of her eyes just to look at me. She purred when I pet her, but that was the only reaction I was getting. So we decided: No more pain. She needed to be put down and out of her misery.
So tonight at 5:30 PM, Jasmine passed away right in front of me. I cried and sobbed as I pet her. She looked at me and purred loudly as I stroked her fur one last time, and I watched as she closed her eyes and put her paw over her head in defeat.
Many people might not understand why I’m so distraught over losing her. She was my baby.
I also feel really guilty that she had to go through any of this. Why didn’t I get her spayed earlier? Why didn’t I catch that she wasn’t feeling well and take her to the vet before any of this happened? She could have had much less problems and it kills me to know that I played a part in her pain.
So I will tell people now, and I will follow this myself: Get your animal spayed/neutered. It could save a life, or many.
R.I.P Jasmine. You were much loved and will be missed, my sweet little kitty ❤ ❤ ❤