Today as Kaelyn is taking her nap and Isaac is having fun with his friends at school, I checked my blog just to see what was going on. I ended up connecting to a blog called MoneySavingMom and saw that she had a book out called Say Goodbye to Survival Mode. The title of the book screamed out to me, waving it’s little intriguing hands and saying “Please read some of me!”. Luckily Amazon has a preview option, and I was able to catch a few of the first pages of the book.
This book made me cry. Not in the way that a sad drama makes you cry, or a happy ending, but in a “self-realization, What-has-my-life-become” kind of cry. Her book in just the first few pages screamed at me, This is you! and broke down all the walls of my self conscious and made me realize that I am the one making my life the way it is. I keep turning around and blaming everyone for my frustration, my anger, my depression…when I am doing it to myself. If you feel like you are barely scraping by in life, hanging onto the thin threads of sanity, and are saying “It’s my kids, they won’t stop whining.” or “It’s my husband, he just shoves everything off on me.” I seriously suggest just reading the first few pages. Go out to the store and buy the whole darn book. I know I’m about to!
My New Years resolution was to make more time to spend with my kids, and so far I have failed. I mean, yeah I play with them more, but do I meet their expectations of how a mother should play with their child? Do I constantly yell because Isaac at 4 year old spilled milk all over the floor? Do I stress out and scream because Kaelyn won’t stop crying, when all she really wants is to be held, but I have a million other things to do? Do I yell at hubby ever.single.time he leaves something on the floor, or trash on the counter? Yes. That is me. I make this so much more stressful than it has to be. I need a new direction that doesn’t involve taking everything out on my husband and children.
So I’m planning on buying this book and reading it. I’m going to take mental notes on her suggestions and see if I can figure out how to turn myself around and smell the darn roses. Okay…..I actually don’t like roses so I’ll say Smell the Darn Jasmine!